Monday, March 26, 2012

Do you know it all??

Wow! December 3 was the last time I blogged. I know it's been a while, but to see the date right there makes me realise how lazy/busy (you pick one) I've been. I'll get around to that.
Today I have my preschooler home, my big girl home sick and I am taking a few minutes for ME, to write a Blog post - and it feels good.

Anyway, what do I want to talk about? Expectations. Expectations on stay at home parents to hold up the fort. To organise everyone. To know everything.

Or is it a female thing? Could be. Am I over thinking this? Looking too far into it? Is it something that has carried over from past generations? From seeing our mums doing it all??
I don't know.

I am getting a little jacked of trying to keep all my balls in the air at the moment. I find that I have everyone in my family organised so well, that my stuff just gets pushed to the side and I start to look overly disorganised. I'm dropping my balls. I have Uni deadlines looming and have just been given a household organisation ultimatum by my husband.
I don't like to argue (belive it or not) and it's time to kick it into overdrive. I only have 24 hours a day. Maybe I will cut back on sleep.

Anyway, one area of family organisation  "knowing" that specifically gets my back up is birthdays.
Between us we have two children, 4 parents, 1 grandparent, 4 siblings (each with partners), and 11 neices and nephews. That's 26 family birthdays every year. Then there are close friends and their children - the figure is ridiculous. Somewhere between 3 and 4 a month.

I am meant to remember everyone's birthdays, get them their gifts (if required), and remind Cal of said birthday so that he can make the appropriate phone call and look like the good guy. A few years ago he had a real go at me because I didn't remind him it was one of his frirend's birthdays so that he could call him. My argument was that if they are that important to you, you would remember their birthday, or at least right it down. I was told "That's your job." (Along with the many other that I get told are mine as a Stay at Home Mum.)

I made a stand and said that he can be responsible for remembering his families birthdays, and sending their gifts because, well, he's known them longer than me, and he SHOULD know the dates without being reminded. That's only 2 parents, 2 siblings and their partners.
It hasn't worked.

My Mother In Law's birthday was earlier in March. As per my stance, I shouldn't have said anything, but I know how disappointed she would be if her darling son forgot. A little over a week out I reminded him, "Don't forget it's your mum's birthday Tuesday week. If you intend on sending her a gift, get onto it." A week out, "It's your mum's birthday next week. Have you organised anything?" On the weekend prior I reminded him, "Don't forget it's your mum's birthday on Tuesday."

Tuesday came. My hard-working husband got home and I said to him, "So how's your mum? Did you speak to her?" 
"No." Confused.
"It's her birthday." 
"WHY DIDN'T YOU REMIND ME!!!" (Cue mobile phone to ear madly making phone calls to three different numbers to find mother to wish her Happy Birthday.)

Seriously, what more can I do????

Who in your family looks after these arrangements? Do you keep a birthday book/calendar handy that everyone can access? (BTW I've tired this, didn't work.) Am I being overly sensitive and should sick it up as part of my 'job'?