Friday, December 2, 2011

Mum vs Child

Move over Bear Grylls, I am taking on a tougher opponent than the Sierra Nevadas, a Costa Rican Rainforest or even the Moab Desert - I'm taking on the the 4 year old, second child.

It's that time of the year when the kids are ratty, I'm tired, and the looming presence of Christmas sets my hair on end most years (and not in a good way) it stands to reason that behaviour levels in the house are a little less than desirable. But what I have been dealing with lately is comparable to dealing with a stubborn water buffalo who really doesn't give a shit whether you attempt to pass it and cross the river, or stay where you are and get eaten by the crocodile that's coming down the river towards you. 

Blase, disinterested, indifferent.

I can handle kids misbehaving, I run a pretty tight shop and everyone knows what is expected of them. If they step out of line, there are consequences. But at the moment its not even the misbehaviour and mischief that is the problem, it the this level of apathy that is being displayed by a 4 year old that annoys me the most. The consequences are of no consequence to her. Nothing is working.

I have tried time out, quiet time, putting her favourite toy in time out, taking toys away, explaining, yelling.......nothing works.

Here's an example of what I'm dealing with:

While getting ready for school on Wednesday, Miss B decided that it would be more fun to run around in her pyjamas than even attempt to get ready, so as most parents would do, I picked her up ready to put her in the car in her PJs.
Unfortunately for me she is getting too big for me to successfully complete such an act while she is kicking and screaming, so in fear that I may get hurt, she got a short reprieve while I did Ardyn's hair. She decided then that it might be best to get dressed, and got in the car (not without complaining all the way mind you).

Whilst in the car (and pulled over, of course) I had a bright idea and sent a text message to Santa. asking him to "please put Bailey on the Naughty List, as she does not know how to behave". I have heard that this close to Christmas this tactic can bring the best behaviour out of the worst child.

Ardyn: *shock!!* Mum? Did you really text Santa? Can you do that? (Thank God it still works on her)

Me: There you go, you're on the naughty list Bailey. Do you know what that means?
Miss B: Yep! I get potatoes instead of presents.
Me: That's right. How does that make you feel.
Miss B: Happy.
Me: Are you sure? Do you really understand what that means? How can you possibly be happy??
Miss B: I'm happy to be getting potatoes. I'm going to make mash. I like mash.
Me: *shock!!*

Where the hell do I go from there?? As much a I would like to applaud her for having her own mind, and thinking so much further outside the square than the typical 4-year-old, the back-chat is driving me MAD!!!!

Later that afternoon I asked her specifically not to do something, and she did it anyway. I am thankful that it was in front of Cal, as he always assumes that I start the process for her bad behaviour (it couldn't possibly be his princess, must be someone else's fault). She displayed a similar indifference, and lame explanation for why she did it. So we made the decision that she was not going to attend her Kindy Christmas Party/Disco Friday afternoon (today).

I have to be honest, it broke my heart to make the decision. It's easier for Cal, as he's not the one who has to follow through, and I started feeling like a bitch as this afternoon got closer. I am not going to get to see my baby girl sing Christmas Carols with her Kindy class.

Until last night. I explained to her how sad it's making mummy that we don't get to see her sing Carols, and she came back with "I don't care", and then just carried on with whatever she was doing.
This kid is 4!!!!! Where the hell does this attitude come from??? I wasn't expecting to have to deal with this for another 10 years or so.

Then late this afternoon when Ardyn said "The disco would be over now. It's so sad that we had to miss it." Bailey replied "Doesn't matter, it wouldn't have been fun anyway."
I know I was a stubborn kid, but I was NEVER like this.Where has she learned to speak like that, as it's definitely not in our house. I would expect it more from my 7-year-old than the 4-year-old. The complete lack of disrespect stuns me!

What am I to do!!!
There was a trip to mini golf planned with daddy for tomorrow, and she has been told that she'd not going. That last comment blew us both away. She will experience what 'not fun' is tomorrow.

If anyone has some ideas, I would love to hear them.
Do you know what I would also love to hear? Support. Encouragement. Someone tell me I'm not a bad, bitch mum please. This afternoon her Kindy teacher told me how great I was doing, and that helped me through the evening. But this has been going on for a month or two, and who knows when  it will stop. I am exhausted in trying to deal with it, and have run out of ideas.

I asked Cal for help, and ideas as to what to do now, and he told me "I dunno". Great! I guess it's up to me. So any ideas, help, encouragement from the mummyblogosphere would be appreciated.

K xx

Friday, November 25, 2011

Are you as busy as me???

I've been doing it again this week. That thing where I have blog posts in my head, and then I never get to a computer to get them out...............and then they're gone, or irrelevant.

Busy weekend in front of me here. Lots of sequins, make up, and hairspray.

It's dance concert weekend!!!!

I'll have more to tell/show next week.
K xx

Monday, November 21, 2011

Google is good

At the end of my last post you will see that my folder of November 2011 photos suddenly became corrupted and was unable to be opened. I have no idea how it happened, or why, but my first reaction was 

But Google, being Google, came to the rescue.
I managed to find out how to fix it, and I actaully did!! Who needs a friggin' Help Desk when you have Google and online computer geek forums.

Now I am like:

Smug Happy girl here now (and I will edit in those missing photos a little later - I'm on the wrong computer).

K xx

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Looking back and ahead

As we continue through November I can't help finding myself thinking about the year that is passing us by (too quickly if you ask me) and reflecting on events that have occurred. As with every year, there are some good and some bad, but I can't help think that I have made some major fuck-ups this year. Excuse the language, but I can't think of a polite way to put it.

Firstly, I am so proud of Cal. He has been my rock and strength this year, as he has for the last 17 years. He has worked so hard so that we can enjoy this life that we live. But a major change that he has made in the last few years has been training to compete in triathlons. He went from an overweight, office worker who enjoyed his beer at lunch, to a slim, fit, hardworking professional who runs and swims at lunch, and still enjoys his beer (although not as much or as often). He completed a half-ironman event in May, and continues to train and compete in various other events. I am so proud of what he has done, and we will all continue to support him as long as he wants to continue.

Running the Half Ironman in Port Macquarie - May 2011

My girls in January 2011

Ardyn is growing up so fast. She loves school and dance, and has a wonderful group of friends. She has had issues over the years with fears and anxieties, and earlier in the year we decided to get her some help. It turned out to be more involved than we first thought, but she has embraced this new learning process better than I thought she would, and has shown excellent progress. 
First Day of Year 1 - February 2011

I love watching her grow up, and am so looking forward to meeting the young lady that she will become. Cal is in complete denial that she is growing up and still wants her to be his Princess. He needs to focus on the fact that it doesn't matter how old she is she will always be his princess.
With daddy - November 2011

Speaking of growing up, Bailey is developing at a rate of knots! She was a late talker (just like her mumma), and we always joked that once she got going that we wouldn't be able to shut her up (just like her mumma). How right we were!! I swear she is 4 going on about 26. She is cheeky, bright, inquisitive and cheeky (yes, I know!), and makes me laugh all the time. 

Whistler, Canada - January 2011

We changed her Preschool this year, and she has fit in very well with the kids who have been together for the few years before. The shame is that she still has another year to go, and they all go off to 'Big School' next year. But I know that she will make new friends next year, and will love being one of the 'big kids' at Kindy. The next few years will be a big change for her, but changes that I'm sure she will take in her stride. That's just her style.
November 2011

Me? A year of ups and downs. I take the moods and troubles of those I love to heart. With Ardyn attending therapy, mum (and her sister) fighting cancer, dad being a grumpy old man......and everyday life mixed into the pot..........I found it really hard to get into a groove this year. I'll admit it, it was tough. And if you have been reading my Blog, you will know that I went through some tough personal times around the middle of the year. 

My biggest regret is that I estranged a new friend through this, and although I think that my behaviour would have been something that some of my old friends would have been able to deal with, it was all too much for this new friend. And I am so sorry, as we were becoming quite close, and I can't take it back. We are still friends, but it just isn't the same. I actually grieve this loss, which is strange as we have not known each other that long, but I felt that connection. I really miss her. And not only this friend, but others who I didn't really know well enough were affected. And now to be honest, I feel like I've alienated myself from them, but I bought it on myself.

But that's in the past. I am not dwelling, just recapping. Dealing with it.
We all make mistakes, and we live with them.
Moving on.

Ardyn is going well in therapy, mum is in remission, my aunt is still fighting, and dad.............well let's face it, dad will always be grumpy.

It's time to look ahead.

(OH BUGGER!!! I was just inserting the photos in, and the file of November 2011 photos on my drive has suddenly become corrupted!!! How the hell did that happen??? There goes our trip to Qld and Cal's first Tri of the season!!!!
You will just have to imagine the photo of Cal running and the girls together.)

It's so strange to think that 2012 is just around the corner. It's almost like I can see it just over the horizon.I am looking forward to it too. There are new experiences ahead, new possibilities. I am looking forward to the challenges of life, being a mum, a sister, a wife and continuing my journey in this world and getting closer to finding out who I really AM. It seems to change so often, and although it keeps me on my toes, I am looking forward to finding out who I will be (can be) and seeing what 2012 holds for me.

Right now I am thankful for so much. Too much to list here, but in particular, Cal, my girls, Q, my health, the future, my life. I am lucky, and blessed, and thankful.

K xx