As we continue through November I can't help finding myself thinking about the year that is passing us by (too quickly if you ask me) and reflecting on events that have occurred. As with every year, there are some good and some bad, but I can't help think that I have made some major fuck-ups this year. Excuse the language, but I can't think of a polite way to put it.
Firstly, I am so proud of Cal. He has been my rock and strength this year, as he has for the last 17 years. He has worked so hard so that we can enjoy this life that we live. But a major change that he has made in the last few years has been training to compete in triathlons. He went from an overweight, office worker who enjoyed his beer at lunch, to a slim, fit, hardworking professional who runs and swims at lunch, and still enjoys his beer (although not as much or as often). He completed a half-ironman event in May, and continues to train and compete in various other events. I am so proud of what he has done, and we will all continue to support him as long as he wants to continue.
Running the Half Ironman in Port Macquarie - May 2011
My girls in January 2011
Ardyn is growing up so fast. She loves school and dance, and has a wonderful group of friends. She has had issues over the years with fears and anxieties, and earlier in the year we decided to get her some help. It turned out to be more involved than we first thought, but she has embraced this new learning process better than I thought she would, and has shown excellent progress.
First Day of Year 1 - February 2011
I love watching her grow up, and am so looking forward to meeting the young lady that she will become. Cal is in complete denial that she is growing up and still wants her to be his Princess. He needs to focus on the fact that it doesn't matter how old she is she will always be his princess.
With daddy - November 2011
Speaking of growing up, Bailey is developing at a rate of knots! She was a late talker (just like her mumma), and we always joked that once she got going that we wouldn't be able to shut her up (just like her mumma). How right we were!! I swear she is 4 going on about 26. She is cheeky, bright, inquisitive and cheeky (yes, I know!), and makes me laugh all the time.
Whistler, Canada - January 2011
We changed her Preschool this year, and she has fit in very well with the kids who have been together for the few years before. The shame is that she still has another year to go, and they all go off to 'Big School' next year. But I know that she will make new friends next year, and will love being one of the 'big kids' at Kindy. The next few years will be a big change for her, but changes that I'm sure she will take in her stride. That's just her style.
Me? A year of ups and downs. I take the moods and troubles of those I love to heart. With Ardyn attending therapy, mum (and her sister) fighting cancer, dad being a grumpy old man......and everyday life mixed into the pot..........I found it really hard to get into a groove this year. I'll admit it, it was tough. And if you have been reading my Blog, you will know that I went through some tough personal times around the middle of the year.
My biggest regret is that I estranged a new friend through this, and although I think that my behaviour would have been something that some of my old friends would have been able to deal with, it was all too much for this new friend. And I am so sorry, as we were becoming quite close, and I can't take it back. We are still friends, but it just isn't the same. I actually grieve this loss, which is strange as we have not known each other that long, but I felt that connection. I really miss her. And not only this friend, but others who I didn't really know well enough were affected. And now to be honest, I feel like I've alienated myself from them, but I bought it on myself.
But that's in the past. I am not dwelling, just recapping. Dealing with it.
We all make mistakes, and we live with them.
Ardyn is going well in therapy, mum is in remission, my aunt is still fighting, and dad.............well let's face it, dad will always be grumpy.
It's time to look ahead.
(OH BUGGER!!! I was just inserting the photos in, and the file of November 2011 photos on my drive has suddenly become corrupted!!! How the hell did that happen??? There goes our trip to Qld and Cal's first Tri of the season!!!!
You will just have to imagine the photo of Cal running and the girls together.)
It's so strange to think that 2012 is just around the corner. It's almost like I can see it just over the horizon.I am looking forward to it too. There are new experiences ahead, new possibilities. I am looking forward to the challenges of life, being a mum, a sister, a wife and continuing my journey in this world and getting closer to finding out who I really AM. It seems to change so often, and although it keeps me on my toes, I am looking forward to finding out who I will be (can be) and seeing what 2012 holds for me.
Right now I am thankful for so much. Too much to list here, but in particular, Cal, my girls, Q, my health, the future, my life. I am lucky, and blessed, and thankful.