Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Being a mummy of a sisterhood is scary

I don't have any sisters. I grew up as an only daughter with a brother 3 (or so) years either side of me. I was a bit of a tom-boy. I enjoyed football more than Barbie, and loved getting dirty making mud pies and climbing trees. Hosting tea parties, wearing dresses and being 'pretty' wasn't how I rolled.

Duncan and 1 - 1973
Mal, Dunc, Mum & I - circa 1976

Mal & I - circa 1979
I loved the way that I was raised. My mum taught me to be self-sufficient, loyal and honest. Dad taught me to kick a footy, swing a golf club and dance a waltz. My brothers picked on me, but defended me too. I never wished that I had a sister. I have never liked teenage girls. I chose not to associate with them, as I never 'got' their bitchiness and emotional torment of each other.

Fast forward many years and I met a man, fell in love and started a family. We had planned a family of two children, and in 2004 and 2007 out pop two perfect, beautiful, pink, girly babies. The first thing that went through my head was "Oh my God, I am going to have to deal with teenage girls - two of them!" Now at 7 and 4, I really am starting to worry as the eye-rolling and attitudes start creeping their way into our everyday lives.

My "innocent" little terrors
I'm scared.

A few years ago I met a girl who was telling me about growing up with her only sister. The bitchiness, the fights, the cattiness between them. She was not helping me feel any more relaxed. But she also explained how when one needed the other, they were able to put all that aside and still be the best of friends. They would look out for each other, plot revenge against people who had done them wrong, and generally stick up for each other.

If one of them was having an issue with mum or dad, they would barricade themselves in their room and plot revenge against their parents.

I am going to regret saying this, but ultimately, this is what I have hoped for. That under all the emotion and bitchiness, their friendship can develop into a love and unity that will bond them together against anyone who does them wrong. Kind of a one-for-all, us against the world type of attitude.

Lately, I have seen a little of this bond developing. It started on New Years Eve.

We were celebrating with friends, and friends of theirs who we did not know. One of the girls was nasty to Ardyn, and she came over to us in tears. Bailey (at 4 years old) stormed over to the 8 year old girls and demanded to know who upset her sister, proceeded to put a finger in the girl's face, and told her to stop. 

NYE 2011
I laughed and thought nothing much of it, just thinking that it was a one-off.

Then tonight it happened again.

Ardyn was being punished for something, and part of that punishment was having her Nintendo DS confiscated. As I was walking away with it, Bailey came over to me, grabbed my arm, pulled me back and forcefully said "MUM! NO! You can't take it!"

Her little face was so serious that I smile now remembering it (but of course at the time would not give her an inch and took the DS anyway). Ardyn is so sensitive, and Bailey just knows what she wants. And if what she wants is to see her big sister happy, she will do anything (including standing up to mum) to make her happy.
Bateman's Bay - April 2012
Hanging out at home - April 2012
It may have been them against me tonight, and although I don't look forward to the same scenario in 8-10 years, I am glad that they have each other. I really hope that they never lose that. But I also hope to God that they take it easy on Cal and I.

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