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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Time

Time is a funny thing. We never have enough of it, and when we do have it, we don't know what to do with it. Well, that's true for me anyway.

A year can go by so quickly.
  • A year ago we were in Noosa with the Virgona's enjoying our annual holiday.
  • A year ago we were getting the shit scared out of us by interrupting someone breaking into the house while on our holiday. That was a very fast end to the 'relaxing' part of the holiday.
  • A year ago Sophie told me that my instincts were right and she was having a little girl.
  • A year ago I was thinking about what I had to do when I got home from Noosa to organise a visit from the in-laws, Ardyn's concert and her birthday......as well as Christmas.
One year on..........
  • We have no jobs, so no Noosa.
  • Sophie's beautiful baby girl is learning to crawl.
  • I am thinking about what needs to be organised for a visit from the in-laws, Ardyn's concert and her birthday.......as well as Christmas :)
  • I am stressing about having to go back to work on Monday for the first time in over 5 years.
Stress doesn't sit with me very well at the best of times (Cal can attest to that), but right now it really seems to be plaguing me with anxiety and guilt. My logic is telling me that everything will be okay (it's only 2 days a week for crying out loud), but my heart is aching.

I usually embrace change, and am very flexible with it, but for some reason this isn't sitting well with me. Maybe it's the fact that I won't be the kids' primary care giver? Maybe I just love being a Stay At Home Mum? Maybe I just don't want to work (lazy bi-atch)? Maybe a bit of everything?????? And with Ardyn off to school in 2 months.......well time certainly has flown.

I am very thankful to my friends who have been available to lend an ear (and a shoulder at this time). I feel like I am taking them for granted, and being quite selfish, and for that I make a public apology. Sorry, and thank you.

I promise that I will update again soon with happier stuff. We have had some wonderful visitors recently, and I have been able to get a little bit scrappy, and I have many photos to share. SO I will try to post more about that tomorrow.

Love and hugs to all.
K xx

2 comments:

Joyce said...

awwww honey, everything will be ok. thats the normal guilt for leaving our kids with someone else. Its great to have real adult conversations!Makes you happier at home

Hugs

Melanie said...

I hope the transition back to work goes okay Kirst, don't feel guilty as you will always be the girls primary carer.

And Ardyn off to school, WOW. Hope she enjoys it after the holidays.