Tuesday, February 22, 2011

And so it begins.....................

My beautiful, adorable 6 year old daughter blatantly lied to my face this morning. I am heartbroken. Don't get me wrong, she's tried to lie before, but previously it was so obvious that she was lying that there wasn't even any point her trying.

This was different. If I didn't know for a fact that what she was saying was a lie, I would have believed her.
I am so scared that this will be the start of a bigger, badder habit. I know that sounds a bit melodramatic, but I'm just speaking from experience.

I was a liar as a kid. Not just the occasional white lie, I sometimes lived in my own little reality. Even now my mum tells me that she had no idea when I was lying and when I wasn't. And I got away with some doozies!
Sometimes I actually ended up beleiving the lie. I swore that if I took a Lie Detector Test I would have passed, and I really did believe the lie to be the truth.

I don't know when I started, but it has to start somewhere, and this may be the start.

I really wanted to have a relationship with my daughters in which they could tell me anything. I'm not naive, I know that kids lie, and I know that she still will. But how do I get her to understand that sometimes it's better (and safer) to tell the truth and get in a little bit of trouble, than get caught out in a lie and get in a WHOLE LOT of trouble?

I've told her this before, hoping that this day wouldn't happen so early. I guess I just have to keep telling her.

And to be honest, I'm not angry. I didn't yell. I'm sad. Disappointed. Heartbroken.
I think I got more of a reaction out of her than if I did yell.

We got home this afternoon, and I made the decision not to mention it at all.
We had been home for a bout half an hours, and the kids were having an afternoon snack. I walked into the family room to discover Ardyn giving Bailey a chocolatey treat (with one for herself in the other hand) telling her "don't tell mummy I gave this to you".

Still didn't yell. Sat her down and explained my disappointment.
Got her something else to eat that was more acceptable.
Continued on my way.

She cried. And cried. And apologised.
And I told her that my trust in her is wavering and she has to earn it back.

I so didn't want to have to tell my 6 year old that.

Sad. Hearbroken.
K xx

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